It's the Final Countdown - Da da da daaaah...da da dat dat daaaaah.....

Yes...the countdown has begun...34 days until the wedding. Feeling a bit rushed, and things at home are getting tense, but I'm still super excited. Nick and I are in Dublin this weekend for my wedding shower...which was yesterday :). I had a great time with all the family and the gifts were really what I needed. I've got another wedding shower next weekend at our church - that will be fun, too :).

School is almost over as well...9 more days until freeeeeedoooooom!! Well, we're trying to have a mini-choral concert on Tuesday with an awards assembly. I have mixed emotions about that because the concert had to be moved so many times. The musical for the school went really well too :). I'm hoping we might have recruited some in the audience so we can do musicals with larger casts.

My throat is still sore from all the sinus drainage and along with that, my ear still aches. It's freezing here in Dublin, and the two dogs...yes, I said two, are in the back of the car because of controversy. I won't bring it up...but we have two dogs now - Link the puggle and a mutt that looks like a Jack Russell Terrier and Doberman mix :/ - she was starving and pawing at the church door and we took her home. You'd think we would learn after the flea infested cat...this dog whines like nobody's business. I don't even know if it's separation anxiety anymore...she just whines!

I'm taking a break from assembling the wedding invitations. Those have to get done tomorrow and out - it's getting too late to send them!! I finished the thank you cards with mom tonight...now we just have to get all that stuff back to an apartment that is halfway packed, halfway disaster area and down to the new house in Chattanooga. Thanks to Toy and Phil, we have a place rent free that we get to fix up. They're wonderful people and I am super excited about living in that house...I just dread the drive to work. About an hour is what will end up happening :( ... but you can't pass up free rent, you know?

Well, I guess I should get back to work. I want to sleep, but I need to get just a bit more done before I do...until next time!

On the Eve of ... Insanity?

Holy cow, has it really been that long since I last posted?! Wow time flies...

I am all about summer. I'm completely ready to end this school year and start fresh with more organization and better planning. The year has gone well so far I supposed, but there are so many things that have happened this year that I simply never want to have happen again. And that's what is great about teaching. You get the opportunity to start all over again the next year and improve. If only I can stay in one place long enough to get some years under my belt enough to get a good routine down.

And, we are exactly one week away from opening night with the musical, and I might literally lose my mind...

Oh, but I had one of those "pre-summer" moments coming home from MCHS tonight. It was fairly warm, I had the window down, and I was blaring the Beatles. And for that brief moment on the 45 minute drive home from work, everything felt right in the world. For one brief moment, every wad of cash I dole out for the show and every moment that I'm working myself into the ground to see the kids come together with an amazing show made all the madness worth it...for one brief moment, I actually LIKED the chaos.

I'm not sure what I was thinking, but the moment has passed. I'm exhausted but wired at the same time and can't exactly sleep (the whining puppy in the background with separation anxiety isn't helping either...). Tomorrow is prom, and most of my students will be leaving around 11:30 am. I'm going to be making final preparations so that Monday can go smoothly without a hitch. We didn't finish the show tonight, but we were fixing some final blocking and Angela and I were having a hard time going through some of the songs *ack*. It will be last minute but it will happen.

I've got mixed emotions tonight...and as I read certain things and think back over the past, I realize I am still harboring bitterness in my heart...at who? I'm not sure...God? Maybe...people who I feel never noticed me or my full potential? Maybe...then I have to face the embarrassing possibility that maybe...juuuust maybe I'm not as good as I think I am. Maybe I'm simply mediocre.

And the wedding *blink* *blink* - so much to do...it's approaching at a pscycho speed, and before you know it, I'm going to be hitched. But that's another conversation for another post...I'm suddenly feeling a bit tired. Could it be I can finally get to sleep??

Let's see, shall we? :D

Constantly Sick

I.Love.Fall. <3

There's no doubt about it, there's something about this time of year and the football weather that seems to get me stirred up. The change in weather seems to wake me up somehow and remind me that I have goals in life...that I have dreams, desires...and I take them seriously. Why I don't the rest of the year I'll never know *grin* but at least during fall I feel as if I can really get started on all the things I've said I was going to do but never did.

But Tennessee in the fall is the bane of my existence. Constant headaches, sinus drainage, exhaustion...it never seems to end. The nauseousness from the drainage is what makes it worse. I always feel sick after eating...makes me never want to eat again, but I like food too much *smirk*.

Ah, but I am losing weight. Without being bored at home, I don't have the opportunity to stuff my face 24/7 out of boredom or emotional turmoil, depending on the time of day *grin*.

Wow, it has been a while since I've written, eh? I blame it on the never ending thesis...

But I've got to get to bed. Yes, relatively short post, but enough to help me remember that I do have a blog and I do enjoy writing it :D. So g'nite for now, and I'll see you soon!

Living in a Cardboard Box

There's a Facebook group called, "I Picked a Major I Liked and One Day I'm Going to Be Living in a Box." I'm a member - and although it's funny, my fear of the future is threatening to overtake me again. There are no job openings that I can find for high school or middle school choral directors. I want to trust that the Lord has a plan, but fear continues to grip me. There's an opportunity to continue on in school, but I'm so sick of school. I want to make money and not spend so much. So what is n ext? I can't take this pressure while trying to finish everything right now. And so panic sets in...I hate looking for a job.

Hillsongs - Mighty to save

I absolutely love this song...and I was sending it to the members of the praise team band at church...and well, found this cute rendition. I love it...especially the drumstick hitting the snare on the one picture *grin*. Thought I'd share...

Stones of Rememberance

This is the man who taught me to fish :). Notice the bluegill on the line? *grin* That was probably the first fish I ever caught. Everything about this picture is adorable to me - the Reebok tennis shoes with the black socks - those familiar slacks that he would wear - the huge glasses to help with the sunlight in his eyes, the trucker's hat - and above all - the pocket protector in his shirt pocket for his pens and his glasses. This man, not perfect by any means, is the reason why so much in my life is right today. My mother had an even greater deal to do with it, with all of her praying and striving to keep me out of trouble :). But I saw this picture, and after thinking about so many things tonight, I am reminded once again of just how good God really is. Time and time again I find myself getting worried about situations - what's going to happen next, am I making the right decision, have I really ruined my life - and so many times, God must be looking down at me and shaking his head - frustrated, maybe, but a longing gentle smile on his face - "My child, why do you worry and plan what I've already worked out with my own loving hand?"

And that's what tonight has been for me - a remembrance, a reminder - of how all the times I've made horrible decisions, the Lord has been true to his word and worked them out for my good. I can look back in so many different situations and see how God has worked - even when I didn't deserve it - and still taken care of things for me. Who am I to worry?

How humbling, but how PEACEFUL it is to realize that He truly has everything in his hands - my job really is to sit back and simply enjoy the ride as best as I can - waiting on him and not trying to force things myself. I know others may have the exact opposite problem, needing God to make them take a move - but I've always gone ahead, trying to orchestrate things that really didn't need my help at all *grin*.

So tonight I write because I feel such a peace - such a happiness about my wonderful Savior - I'm not saying I have things worked out - that I won't stop worrying, but I'm going to try to keep this remembrance, like the Israelites did with the 12 stones, I believe, when the red sea parted, so that I am always reminded of God's provision and his ability to make things work out for my good.

Side Note

And just as a side note, here is Link now - I can't believe how big he's gotten in such a short time! But he's still just as cute as ever. He's extremely smart, and he's usually a very quiet dog, except here in Dublin he's been quite vocal to my family *grin*. He's so adorable, though. This is one of the best decisions I've made in a long time, because he's so precious. They tell me he's not going to get much bigger, but he's only 4 months old, so I have a hard time believing he's not going to get some bigger. But he is about a foot tall. Well, just wanted to post a photo of my favorite puppy. I found the picture of when we first brought him home and I thought an update would be nice. More photos to come, I'm sure!