Monday Morning and a Mac

I have firmly posted my posterior in the on campus cafe known as Jazzmans...and they're playing some pretty wild music. Typical coffee shop jazz/techno. The piano improvisation is pretty lively, but all in all it doesn't cover the fact that it's actually Monday morning and I'm up at an insane hour for a piano lesson. She simply gave me an assignment this morning and sent me on my way to get a proficiency packet that doesn't exist in the book store.

*sigh* I'm not really complaining - just tired??

Anyway, I find myself battling old demons recently. I've got all the paperwork filled out and I'm going to go in for an initial intake appointment at the Counseling center today. Why I'm announcing this on my blog, I'm not sure...it just seems to be the thing to talk about right now. I'm finding that there are evidently some open, gaping wounds I'm still carrying around in my heart, and I'm tired of being affected and hurt by these things.

I'm also amazed by the amount of songs that I never really listened to the lyrics for. Switchfoot is a prime example - I was going to look up the name and lyrics of the songs (because obviously I don't notice those things, hence the post) but I can't seem to figure out a way to open another browser window on this Mac. Where are my convenient tabs? Why can I not choose the color and font of my text for this post? Eh...Macs...I wanted one just for the sole purpose of Garage Band, but now that there seem to be Macs on campus somwhere, I'm thinking I'll just stick to this one...I'm not too happy about looking at this camera on the top of it - I'm one of those paranoid few who think that someone in the higher ups is watching me. Anyway, the point is, I need to pay more attention to what I'm listening to...one was about death and it made me think of Dad, and then the other was about going home to Heaven. All things that I think about a lot lately.

Well, I was just stopping in to check out the new Macs and possibly goof off a bit. I have work today for Dr. Boutwell that I'm not necessarily looking forward to. If I didn't think she'd have a coronary, I'd drop the assistantship, but I won't do that to her when things seem to be hard enough as it is. But I won't continue in the Spring unless the Lord shows me some reason why I should. I'll pray about it of course, but I don't want this headache while I'm trying to write my Thesis as well. I'm having a hard enough time trying to get the ridiculous prospectus done!

Okay, off to the rest of my day...

Falling Out of Chairs

Ah...I made it in to work for the ministry today and found myself playing musical chairs. You see, I'm short, so my feet never touch the ground in most chairs - so I usually find a chair that I can touch in and just use that. Well, today the boss decided to help me find a chair somewhere in the office that would work. Being a non-profit, they have a lot of donated items that allow you to have any manner of chair - most have something about them that don't necessarily work, but hey, they're free. I'm used to that aspect of non-profit.

However the last chair we found was the one in the front office - and being the heavy-weight that I am, I tend to throw myself down into every chair I sit in instead of being ladylike :) - yup, this happened to be one of those that flies backwards easily...my legs went up in the air and I nearly threw myself out, but managed to hold on for dear life. And the bossman began laughing hysterically :).

I of course laughed because what else are you going to do? It was funny...but then *I* start to laugh and it brings up the whole laughter conversation. He said that he and his wife agreed that one of my strongest attributes was my laughter.

????

Wow - thanks *grin* - he then quickly said some other stuff about my intelligence, blah blah blah - it was just funny.

In all honesty, I've always been known for my laugh. I get lost in laughter and don't realize how loud I get. I love to laugh - but man, it's always been a sore spot for me because I've either been made fun of for it or simply told that I'm too loud and I need to be quiet. I'm one of those annoying loud office people at times. So if someone is in a bad mood, I'm the first target because I'm naturally loud, period.

Ah well, not intending to complain - just making a comment I guess. Laughter is the best medicine until someone gets a headache :). I guess it's all a part of getting used to who I am - being comfortable in my own skin. God made me this way and I have to learn to deal with the good and the bad :).

This learning to like yourself for who you are stuff is kinda hard.