The Stirrings of Fall

I'm loving the turn of the weather. Yes, it brings all kinds of sinus problems, but the truth of the matter is I'm sick of the stifling heat that this area brings. Mom tells me that Virginia is already seeing temperatures in the 50's (I think at night mostly) - football weather!! :)

Other news, I'm researching a fairly new breed of dog called "Puggles." They're a mix between a Pug and a Beagle. Although my first instinct is to rush out and get one, I'm holding off at the wise council of my Dear Boyfriend (DB). Rushing into it will only get me into trouble, so I want to make sure I'm ready for everything :).

I had my first practice with the choir at my new church - exciting stuff. There have been some things that have been going on that have allowed them to get lazy in the past, and I can tell I'm going to have a bit of a rough hall ahead of me, but I'm going to try and move forward anyway. I'm praying heavily for God's guidance on how to deal with things. But as we're reading in "Music Through the Eyes of Faith," Best explains that the music makers and how we treat them need to be more important than the music itself. We're first ministers of the gospel through song, which means that the people we minister should come first.

And although I want to be careful of people's feelings and desires, I'm most concerned with their spiritual and musical growth. It's my responsibilities to help them grow further than where they are now - the only true way I see that happening is simply being in constant prayer to God about it. I mean, I can teach these people something musically, but spiritually? There are many people who are twice my age...and what a powerful witness! They know and have experienced things as Christians that I may never understand - I don't want to discredit their experiences and understandings given by God - but I'm trying to remember that even in my semi-youth, I still have something to offer spiritually as well.

But of course, my flesh is week as of late. I find myself not nearly as Holy as I used to be *grin*. But is that a bad thing? To me, maybe not - I'm no longer trying to be the perfect Christian. I'm striving to do my best for Christ, and understanding, FINALLY, that I'm human. That I can and will make mistakes - but God's grace is sufficient enough to continue to work through me even when I mess up.

There are areas in my life that I need to deal with. Some things that I continue to get drawn back into because of my flesh nature. Before, I would assume that because I keep going back to it, I need to be "delivered" from it, or have someone lay hands on me to help me overcome the issues. I believe this needs to be done in some cases, but if I'm going to believe what the Word really says, I've already been set free from the sin nature by Christ's work on the cross. I simply need to believe it and allow the Holy Spirit to help me walk in that freedom.

How? By spending time with Him - being in His presence and feeding my spirit man instead of feeding my flesh man. I know this may not make sense to those who aren't familiar with "Christianeze", but I go back to the illustration that my youth pastor gave when I was 16 that I don't believe I'll ever be able to forget. It's like having two dogs - a white one that pulls you one way (into good things) and a black one that pulls you another (into bad things). The one you feed and exercise the most will be the one that wins out in the end. The one with the greater strength will always pull you its way in the end.

I don't know - Fall has always been a signal of something new in me...or a realligning of sorts with God. I'm feeling that same call from Him again :).

Monday Morning and a Mac

I have firmly posted my posterior in the on campus cafe known as Jazzmans...and they're playing some pretty wild music. Typical coffee shop jazz/techno. The piano improvisation is pretty lively, but all in all it doesn't cover the fact that it's actually Monday morning and I'm up at an insane hour for a piano lesson. She simply gave me an assignment this morning and sent me on my way to get a proficiency packet that doesn't exist in the book store.

*sigh* I'm not really complaining - just tired??

Anyway, I find myself battling old demons recently. I've got all the paperwork filled out and I'm going to go in for an initial intake appointment at the Counseling center today. Why I'm announcing this on my blog, I'm not sure...it just seems to be the thing to talk about right now. I'm finding that there are evidently some open, gaping wounds I'm still carrying around in my heart, and I'm tired of being affected and hurt by these things.

I'm also amazed by the amount of songs that I never really listened to the lyrics for. Switchfoot is a prime example - I was going to look up the name and lyrics of the songs (because obviously I don't notice those things, hence the post) but I can't seem to figure out a way to open another browser window on this Mac. Where are my convenient tabs? Why can I not choose the color and font of my text for this post? Eh...Macs...I wanted one just for the sole purpose of Garage Band, but now that there seem to be Macs on campus somwhere, I'm thinking I'll just stick to this one...I'm not too happy about looking at this camera on the top of it - I'm one of those paranoid few who think that someone in the higher ups is watching me. Anyway, the point is, I need to pay more attention to what I'm listening to...one was about death and it made me think of Dad, and then the other was about going home to Heaven. All things that I think about a lot lately.

Well, I was just stopping in to check out the new Macs and possibly goof off a bit. I have work today for Dr. Boutwell that I'm not necessarily looking forward to. If I didn't think she'd have a coronary, I'd drop the assistantship, but I won't do that to her when things seem to be hard enough as it is. But I won't continue in the Spring unless the Lord shows me some reason why I should. I'll pray about it of course, but I don't want this headache while I'm trying to write my Thesis as well. I'm having a hard enough time trying to get the ridiculous prospectus done!

Okay, off to the rest of my day...