Constantly Sick

I.Love.Fall. <3

There's no doubt about it, there's something about this time of year and the football weather that seems to get me stirred up. The change in weather seems to wake me up somehow and remind me that I have goals in life...that I have dreams, desires...and I take them seriously. Why I don't the rest of the year I'll never know *grin* but at least during fall I feel as if I can really get started on all the things I've said I was going to do but never did.

But Tennessee in the fall is the bane of my existence. Constant headaches, sinus drainage, exhaustion...it never seems to end. The nauseousness from the drainage is what makes it worse. I always feel sick after eating...makes me never want to eat again, but I like food too much *smirk*.

Ah, but I am losing weight. Without being bored at home, I don't have the opportunity to stuff my face 24/7 out of boredom or emotional turmoil, depending on the time of day *grin*.

Wow, it has been a while since I've written, eh? I blame it on the never ending thesis...

But I've got to get to bed. Yes, relatively short post, but enough to help me remember that I do have a blog and I do enjoy writing it :D. So g'nite for now, and I'll see you soon!

Living in a Cardboard Box

There's a Facebook group called, "I Picked a Major I Liked and One Day I'm Going to Be Living in a Box." I'm a member - and although it's funny, my fear of the future is threatening to overtake me again. There are no job openings that I can find for high school or middle school choral directors. I want to trust that the Lord has a plan, but fear continues to grip me. There's an opportunity to continue on in school, but I'm so sick of school. I want to make money and not spend so much. So what is n ext? I can't take this pressure while trying to finish everything right now. And so panic sets in...I hate looking for a job.

Hillsongs - Mighty to save

I absolutely love this song...and I was sending it to the members of the praise team band at church...and well, found this cute rendition. I love it...especially the drumstick hitting the snare on the one picture *grin*. Thought I'd share...

Stones of Rememberance

This is the man who taught me to fish :). Notice the bluegill on the line? *grin* That was probably the first fish I ever caught. Everything about this picture is adorable to me - the Reebok tennis shoes with the black socks - those familiar slacks that he would wear - the huge glasses to help with the sunlight in his eyes, the trucker's hat - and above all - the pocket protector in his shirt pocket for his pens and his glasses. This man, not perfect by any means, is the reason why so much in my life is right today. My mother had an even greater deal to do with it, with all of her praying and striving to keep me out of trouble :). But I saw this picture, and after thinking about so many things tonight, I am reminded once again of just how good God really is. Time and time again I find myself getting worried about situations - what's going to happen next, am I making the right decision, have I really ruined my life - and so many times, God must be looking down at me and shaking his head - frustrated, maybe, but a longing gentle smile on his face - "My child, why do you worry and plan what I've already worked out with my own loving hand?"

And that's what tonight has been for me - a remembrance, a reminder - of how all the times I've made horrible decisions, the Lord has been true to his word and worked them out for my good. I can look back in so many different situations and see how God has worked - even when I didn't deserve it - and still taken care of things for me. Who am I to worry?

How humbling, but how PEACEFUL it is to realize that He truly has everything in his hands - my job really is to sit back and simply enjoy the ride as best as I can - waiting on him and not trying to force things myself. I know others may have the exact opposite problem, needing God to make them take a move - but I've always gone ahead, trying to orchestrate things that really didn't need my help at all *grin*.

So tonight I write because I feel such a peace - such a happiness about my wonderful Savior - I'm not saying I have things worked out - that I won't stop worrying, but I'm going to try to keep this remembrance, like the Israelites did with the 12 stones, I believe, when the red sea parted, so that I am always reminded of God's provision and his ability to make things work out for my good.

Side Note

And just as a side note, here is Link now - I can't believe how big he's gotten in such a short time! But he's still just as cute as ever. He's extremely smart, and he's usually a very quiet dog, except here in Dublin he's been quite vocal to my family *grin*. He's so adorable, though. This is one of the best decisions I've made in a long time, because he's so precious. They tell me he's not going to get much bigger, but he's only 4 months old, so I have a hard time believing he's not going to get some bigger. But he is about a foot tall. Well, just wanted to post a photo of my favorite puppy. I found the picture of when we first brought him home and I thought an update would be nice. More photos to come, I'm sure!

Easter Break

Christmas 2007 - Jess, me, Meals, and Dianna - the weekend in Pigeon Forge. And it was so good to see them again. I miss them.

Jess is now hangin' in Cyprus, Meals is somewhere in NOVA crackin' down on some lawyers, and Dianna is kickin' it ghetto style in New York. But for one brief weekend, we were all in the same place, having an amazing time together.

Jess cracks me up with her model gorgeous self and the planned smiles she gives in every picture *grin*. Not that she's not having fun, because she's not faking it in the least - but you can tell she knows how to work a camera *grin*. She always has that "come hither" smile *grin*.

Tonight I am sitting on my mother's couch in Dublin, contemplating the conversations of the day, especially the one from Dr. Moffett's class about how this culture is technologically advanced beyond amazement, but how it is a selfish, "me-focused" generation that is immature. I fall into that category, and I can't really lie about it. I can try to cover it up, but the fact of the matter is, my checkbook screams of my immaturity.

Aaah...my favorite picture. I have managed to capture my amazing boyfriend in the middle of his signature move. We were in Alabama helping my cousin and her family move into their new house. Good times as usual. But my cuz is working hard and losing weight - she's amazing in her resolve - and I wish I knew why I can't seem to muster up the same thing. But again, I'm tired of getting into the huge weight conversations and then never doing anything about it.

So I'm in ye ole Dublin tonight, enjoying the gentle (or not so gentle) sounds of my mother snoring *grin*. It's gotten better since her surgery, but she's still pretty bad. So bad, in fact, that I'm probably going to have to go get the ear plugs out of the car. I was hoping to avoid it, tho, because it's cold outside and I just flat out don't feel like going back out.

Well, March Madness is in full swing, and I have no clue how I'm going to do because I really think I picked some crazy dud-like picks. But that's okay - I do it just for the fun :D. I wish I had the time to watch some of the games - hopefully tomorrow I will be able to for a bit.

Well, I think that's about it for now. Just thought I'd drop in and say a few things, although there's nothing really all that profound right now :). I'll be back in again soon :).

A Blob of Nothingness

"I don't know what this is about, but God says he has a plan and not to worry...that's it."

This was the message I received on Sunday night from a wonderful woman in my choir at church - and it couldn't have been more needed. Seems like it should be a simple thing to believe, but I constantly struggle with it, the closer that graduation time comes.

Graduation at high school was stressful, but it was so full of hope - I was going to get edumicated to continue on in life - there was a bright future ahead.

Graduation at college was great because I was finally able to start my own career and no longer did I have to give answers to please professors but I could finally make my own professional decisions. Still a bit scary because I had to find a job, but it seemed to happen fairly quickly.

Now I'm back at graduation for graduate school, and it's so different, but yet, just the same. But this time, the hope doesn't seem to be there. I've been struggling with this sense of "aimlessness" for the good part of two years now. I've wondered often if there's a plan or if I'm really supposed to find my own way. I didn't necessarily doubt that God had a plan, but all of the sudden it seemed that I had more of a responsibility of choosing what I wanted to do, or what path to take next. There's a Bible verse in Psalm I think that talks about God ordering the steps of the righteous - but I haven't felt very righteous lately. Not supposed to go by feelings, I know.

But what is "REAL"? This is the constant question I struggle with. Is "reality" something that is different for each individual person? Is there a definite reality?

I don't feel like getting into this philosophical crap tonight. I'm in my bedroom, warm and comfy, and I'm listening to the songs I have on my myspace list. I simply love music. I love the way the chords fit together - I love the different elements that make music what it is. I'm passionate about everything there is about music...well, I'm not so passionate about performing practice, which is the class I'm in right now *grin*, but I do like the result of those who study it. I just have no desire to do so.

But the messages aren't all Christian - and after reading Harold Best's "Music Through The Eyes of Faith," I'm not too worried about it. Granted, there are definite things I wouldn't listen to because I feel like it would corrupt my mind...but the jury is still out on some of it.

I want to have something profound to say everytime I write, you know? But unfortunately, I'm now losing steam and my attention is being scattered so that I no longer remember what it was that pushed me to open the blog and write it *grin*.

So, that's it for now...until I remember why I wrote in the first place :)

Cold Air From The Heating Vent

In typical Sarah fashion, I'm up too late - I should have been doing work, but I got distracted trying to set up my printer to be wireless. He He He - let's just leave it at it hasn't gone well so far. But other than that, I'm sitting at my desk, which has the air vent underneath it, and it's shooting out cold air! I can't quite figure that one out, because the heat is on pretty high for once because I'm super cold, and with the wind chill it's in the 20's here (which is a rare occurrence in itself) - and I feel COLD air coming out of the vent - but it's warm in the house??? I have yet to understand and figure this place out.

I had to buy a new desk chair today - the one I had been broken for a long time evidently and I didn't know it...today it nearly threw me across the room so I decided to bite the bullet and buy a new one. Sometimes Wal-Mart is a Godsend - especially on a tight budget - let's just hope the quality allows it to last long enough for me to get my money's worth out of it!

Well, I've had some computer issues lately - the laptop crashed again and this time, although they said they would save my information for me, the guy did a /fixboot and erased the hard disk without backing anything up - which I knew how to do on my own, had I wanted to lose everything. Well, most of it was backed up on my hard disk...well, that crashed too, for some reason. But not before I got the really important stuff back on the laptop. So I'm thinking I'm just going to start printing everything out (if I can ever get my printer working again *grrr*) so I never completely lose everything.

But with my mind in the state it's been lately, I may have already lost everything anyway *grin*.

Okay - I'm going to try and take some more pictures of Link tomorrow and get them up. He's growing so quickly that I can hardly believe he was small enough to fit in my hand when I first picked him up. I wish I had gotten better pictures of him...he looked so adorable with his smooth head and long floppy ears. He still looks adorable *grin*.

I think I'm done for now - I just wanted to drop a few lines and get another post on the blog since I haven't been on it for a while. Hope all is well wherever you are when you read this :).

Welcome Home, Link!

I decided to pick a color that I thought would match the screen, but not one I would normally pick. It looks nasty beside all of the other colors on the palette but I have a feeling will look good on the page.

Anyway, this is Link, the new puppy that Nick and I adopted. He's 8 weeks old, and he's an incredibly smart little boy. And he's so CUTE! He has one little pay that has a white spot and two white nails, and the rest are black :).

We're trying now to begin the training - he's already partially house trained, thanks to our breeder. I've enjoyed working with her - if you ever want a puggle, you can check at www.snugglepuggle.tripod.com. Reasonable cost for everything she does for the puppy.

We're going to leave him alone briefly for the first time today - better to do it during the day when my neighbor won't hear the whining :). Anyway, wanted to update everyone - I'll be back to write more about 2008 later :).